and this post will get none.

This post will get lots of comments...

Its been hectic to say the least work has been on overdrive with lots of drama, and with important deadlines on the horizon its getting pretty hot down there in sengkang boys and girls. One nice thing that has been going on is that TLOML has been picking me up from work, with a little package of joy i nthe back seat and a little energetic ball of fur in the front, sometimes we just come home or like yesterday we took pepper and caitlin to the dog run in pasir ris, today we took caitlin to the beach for her very first brush with the sand and the surf. Mischa let da baby dip her tiny toes in the sand as well as the sea. She seemed to enjoy herself with the lovely sea breaze blowing in her face. Pepper too was excited to be running around pasir ris park off her leash, she was very responsive to our commands and all in all behaved like the wild african hunting dog that she thinks she is. These little after work outings really make my day! great thinking there honey!

What is is, what it was what it shall be.

Sometimes things go wrong, things take a wrong turn and while i say that as if we have nothing to do with it generally things go wrong because of us, people. I am speaking about friendships and the death and the slow agonizing way in which one can die. I am sure we all have friends, i have a few tried, tested and trust friends who will probably be with me till the end as i will with them but are such things written in stone?
We all have friends who when we call them we are all excited while the phone is ringing but the moment they pick up we know "this was a mistake" they rub us the wrong way or they say things that hurt or insult us or we realise that they never once not once ask how you are and how your family is doing, its all about them. Sometimes it takes years for us to realise that these are not friends they are users and even then though it may be heartbreaking you still to keep a thread of connection in order to maintain the friendship. I use the term friendship very loosley here. There are other friends who we see once a year or contact every couple of months but when we do it just clicks and things are like they always were but even these need some water and sunlight, i call them cactus friendships you dont have to do much work but they can grow big and strong.
When it does end, a friendship rarely goes out with a bang but seems to sail out into ocean quietly, and sometimes its too late to save and yo uthink "oh well' i will give him or her a call and it will be alright and it will be like it used to but its not and it wont be because they have sailed off without you.
And years later you do things like search for them on the internet or in quiet moments u wonder of friendships lost and one day maybe your walking down the street or sitting at a bar and he or she walks in and ur heart leaps in memory of a friend and they give a wave and thats all you get or you send and email and you get no reply and you realise that really its over, or you call and you get the "i'm busy" and never get the call back, you sort of got to get the hint eh, maybe you are the one they shudder to talk to or you are the one that hurt them who knows.
Its over, finshed, done, kaput and yet is it? whee there is breath there is life and where there is life there is hope, and if there was any real love in the friendship to start with there is always a chance.regrets? i had a few but then again too few to mention.
Sidebar- Dont look for the hidden meaning in any of this, its just something that i happen to be thinking about and not related to any incident or friendship.
If you find any typos, speeling erros and stuff and feel the need to tell me, please note that you are the one i regret calling !!!

there ya go

A tiny fist and a face to match,
Jet black hair as think as thatch
Big brown eyes looking around
A tiny mouth but man what sounds
With puckered brow she carries around her lovely Mothers,
not so lovely frown.(joking darling!)
Grunting and crying dawn and at dusk
Milk she must have and have it now she must.

i had to put this pic of her looking all forlon in her cot, about to burst into tears but still stylish with a lovely Li May provided dress.

Rubbish Rubbish..........and more rubbish

I am tired. It has been a rubbish weekend with me not doing anything yesterday. tried to nap but nap wouldnt come. friday night was good with dinner and a visit to borders with tloml but all else was just rubbish. people got angry. people were tired, i was tired.plans got changed and so on and so on. generally speaking i am an optimist normally dont stay this way for long but this morning was rubbish as well. after feeding the baby at 8pm115am, 430am and waking up 7 to get tloml to feed her i figured i would seelp in for half and hour and catch a cab to work. just so tired. but alas i woke up not in the mood to speak to anyone, i go to the atm put my card in and the bloody machine does nothing. IT takes my card and the screen doesnt change, clear, cancel the buttons are totally useless. So i am standing there already late for work, with four dollars in my pocket. The kind people at ocbc were of course so kind they kindly told me that they were of no use to me the only thing they could do was tell me to go to the bank and draw money. alas the nearest bank was rather out of the way so i sent an sms alert to my office that i would be late and hoped on the first of two buses to work. So now i am tired, have a headache and am pissed off and i dont mean the gentle flow of a babbling brook i mean the crazy pounding that is niagra falls. More rubbish, as the bus takes the slow gentle turn off the express way and into sengkang i look out the window and to my horror, dispair i dont really know the word to use but whatever word it is it cannot convey the feeling i had as i looked and saw two dead puppies byt the side of the road.rubbish rubbish rubbish.

This is not the way to start the week coming or end the week going. i am tired and would like to reset the marix now if at all possible. Today the cup is not half empty it is as always half full but this tiem half full of poison, so drink not this draught of despair, take this meal of madness from me and give me light, joy and bliss, it really is too much to ask isnt it.
Sidebar-The kind people from ocbc just called and said that as it wasnt my fault the card got swallowed they would waive the $5.00 and would be so kind as to mail me a new card within 7 days. they can take their 7 days and shove it, i want my card now.but of course another compromise , i can go to the nearest branch and get a card right away. You know its their fault, they should come ot me and give me a card rightaway and they should pay me $5.00.

i got the whole world on my shoulders

Caitlin with her normal "look" and in a rather nice dress. I ws told who gave it to us..but i cant remember

Unique

Just a snap shot i took, i wish i had waited for the guy to walk further into the frame. I was actually taking a pic of him and only noticed the sign in the back ground later.

Are we there yet?

SIDEBAR-Its monday afternoon and i just had a look at my blog on my office computer and i have found the black and white shots rather dark, the same goes for the previous post. At home on my lovely flat panel it all looks nice but here its dark! is anyone else having this problem
My nephew Philip and i took a mini adventure today, after awaking bright and early and getting a lift from Bil, we were off to Kusu island or that was the plan. The plan was flawed from the start, having missed the first ferry we had to linger on Sentosa till the next ferry. Once our little boat made it to Kusu we decided to skip what looked like a plain island and head straight to St.Johns and Lazarus Islands.

Hello and Goodbye Kusu!

Jetty to the right.

A little house on St.John's island, this house was used in a TCS 8 show a couple of years ago

Some dude fishing on the new causeway between St.John's and Lazarus Islands. Many times i have stood on the shore of St.John's and looked longingly at the raw isle of lazarus and hoped i could go across, well now that they have reclaimed the land around the island it is possible to just walk across.

A new lagoon on the kusu facing side of Lazarus...looks good for camping.

My nephew.

I took lots of shots but decided to post a few, it was a very enjoyable time and philip was an eager participant in the adventure.

The legend of the chair, the pipe and the sink.

I read somewhere that pictures should tell a story, while i agree certain types of photography should tell a story others are just beauty in the eye of the ogre.
When i looked at the above picture i imagined that these things, the chair, the sink and the pipe were somehow interacting with each other, yes i know that they are inanimate objects the feeling that being left alone for so many years allowed them the ability to react to one another. i broke down this picture into a few parts and below are a couple. i hope you understand what i am talking about cause i really dont know how to explain . I have looked at this picture long and hard and to me personally it is one of my best, maybe not technically but to me to conveys emotion, the same goes for the earlier post of the table titled "forgotten" as well as my fav photograph of the stone bench "take five"in a post i did a few months ago. They are not photographs that would win any competitions or sell books but to me these pics are my favourite work so far. remember in this story i am the ogre.

"You know i always wanted to pretend i was an architect" GEORGE COSTANZA

Greetings and salutations! no photographs today. Havent done ANY photography this past week but i hope to change all that this weekend. Dont worry i will put more baby pics soon.

You may be aware that i am in charge of feedign the piglet at night and since i sleep very little anyway its not a problem but now that i have to stay awake i find myself getting sleepier much earlier ! ! ! Its catch 22. Anyway to kill time i discovered that the kind people from google have developed a software called googel sketch and i have been happily trying it out. Below are some pics of the little doodles i have done using this software, please keep in mind that i am neither an artist or an architect. I had to resize the pics cause they were just too big and i did find i lost some detail but such is the life of a poor blogger. I havent tried doing any interiors yet...next project maybe i will.

A pretty basic house with a half court basket-ball court a pool and a bbq pit...lovely. I think i shall get abit more "out there" with the next house i do.

I wanted to sketch a church that was not run of the mill, i wanted it to be different and yet keep soem of the 70's style church designs. The roof is supposed to symbolize Golgotha...you know the hard uphill struggle to Calavary...the triangles well like my home parish "trinity". This was the first building i did so please be gentle.

These are DOODLES nothing more nothing less, they are not meant to be taken very seriously :) things i do late at night!

1year annivesary

While feeding Catilin this evening after we got back from the wedding, i heard some music cominng from outside so once she was done i decided to go and have a look, took some pics, not very good cause of the angle but i like the look of the sepia style i tried.
Just some random shots, all pics have been resized to 20% of the original for bloggin purposes.
And if u find any typos, dont tell anyone let it be your secret.....

The thing i forgot to mention earlier is that the 29th of june was the 1st anniversary of me starting up my blog. yup 290605 one year ago i blogged for the first time and i really didnt think that i would keep it up for a year! in one of my earliest post i spoke of a departed friend and how i still think of him, i nthis past year both tloml and i lost our grandmothers and it was hard or it is hard sometimes to think of the loved ones who have left but this past year wasnt about loss alone, in the 12months since i started bloggin, pepper has grown up to be a kind and caring little dog to her new sister Caitlin whose image i am sure will grow to dominate the pages of this blog. To all those of you who were forced to "check out my blog" much thanks for the many comments that you have posted, i look forward to reading everytime i go online. The pics i take are for me a form of release it destresses me to take pictures and it gives me pleasure and while i take pictures that i enjoy to view the same cannont be said for the few people who stroll through here, lol who can blame them i mean on one post you get oranges and another u get fabric..not the general idea of art lol but still bare with my pics and i will post more of what yo u all like, Caitlin :)
Lets see if i can make it 2years. watch this space.

Debbie and Adriel ..for life.

Where do i start! what a great day! Debbie and Adriel got married today! and not one picture did i take...i didnt bring the camera as i thought i was going to be rather busy which i will say i was! The morning started early with TLOML(bridesmaid) leaving at 645 for debs house. My mum stayed over and helpeds us with the baby sitting duties for the day, while i left for church at 815(bloody early). After a lovely mass, where of course the people in my pew were all giggling away just like the last time we attended mass together, badly behaved heheh. The bride looked radient and the groom looked ready for action, after mass we headed to the merchant court hotel where my duties of the day were awaiting me. AS the MC i decided that my co host would be Tuf Tuf (she had no say in the matter) and together with a very happy bunch of staff from the hotel we set about to make sure that a good time was had by all. Aside from the eating and drinking there was dancing and lots of laughter and i think that anyone who didnt enjoy themselves would either have to have been dead or wanted to marry debbie or adriel for themselves lol. In my opinion a damn happening wedding! i enjoyed myself. So here is a HEARTY CONGRATS to the happy couple! May it be a long, bountiful and happy marriage :)

A bug a day.....

After putting Caitlin down for the night, i went back to the study and lo and behold there on the wall was this green monster, we have had our fair share of moths, beetles and even on occasion a praying mantis but this monster is something different altogther. I reckon its from the family Tettigoniidae Katydid Similar to grasshoppers but with some difference especially the curved bit at the back lol anyway after taking some qucik shots of the green hopper in a fish bowl i set it free, long may it hop.

Caitlin.

Had a bit of fun with Caitlin after TLOML gave her a nice bath.

Messed with her hair and her outfit

The two sisters have been bonding nicely, look at Caitlin holding her head up! sniff sniff they grow so fast

Old School Series One.

A couple of weeks ago some friends and i took a walk around Sungei Road, while it is just a shadow of its former "resale" glory there are still bargins to be bought. I walked away with a couple of old school cameras which i am thinking of hocking on ebay but you never know. Here is Series One. If i ever get in the mood again i am sure there will be a Series Two.

Sidebar-These photographs were taken after a long day, i took them even though i am really tired so forgive the little problems you may have with them....i will try and do better next time.

One day to a Month

23rd of the month tom and my daughter(thats right u heard right) will be 1month old! Its been tough on TLOML over the past few days as i have been sick and she is bearing the load as it were all by her lonesome.WELL DONE HONEY! Today i feel alot better so its back in the saddle with the night feeds tonight, i hope our precautions were effective and she does not get sick as well(knock wood, oei knock man)

I have been asked many times over the past few weeks what its like being a father, i really cant explain as yet but i think the emotions have been changing or should i say growing as i get to know her. Caitlins sister Pepper has been a good girl and if i may say more loving than ever. Aside from her birthday tomorrow Caitlin will also be getting the first of a series of jabs, welcome to the world of immuinization!
On a photographical note, aside from the baby i havent really taken anything worth posting, got a couple of cat pics but hey who doesnt, i really need to get into the groove soon ...hopefully sunday

Still not sure who she looks like, it seems to change from day to day, she has one hell of a head of hair i must say. I have also been asked why we chose the name Caitlin, in many places on the net it states that the name is of irish decent, but Caityn is the Irish version and Caitlin is of a welsh background which has a suttle difference in meaning with the latter meaning pure and the former pure beauty, however both of them derive from the Greek "Catherine" which i always though of as a russian name Mischa actually pulled the name out and it was the only one we agreed on, as for Rose i picked that i felt it would go well with the first name plus i like roses, we had wanted Victoria, Isabell or even Gemma but in the end we got ourselves a little Caitlin. As they say a Caitlin rose by any other name.....
SideBar-As my sister has pointed out it is a rather nice quilt that baby c is resting on, i bought that quilt almost 10years ago for philip aka baba and i hope one day he can rest his baby's head on it as i rest mine.

Happy Fathers DAY

Today is my first fathers day as a father, last year we only had pepper and that really didnt count. A nice dinner was organzied by tloml, tuff and jamie for the doo and me, hot dogs galore!

I was trying to think if i felt different being a father, i guess i do and i dont..i do cause there is alot more responisblity with being a father now, and sacrifices have to be made by both tloml and i however i cant realyl call them sacrifices as we are giving up all the little good things we enjoy like the freedom to just go out or take a long nap or travel(for now) in exchange for a child that we love more and more with each day. I did not of course think its possible to feel like this before she was born but I AM A FATHER and i am going to get a real kick out of hearing Caitlin calling me Daddy for the first time! AS new parents everything and everyday something new happens sometimes its a joy and sometimes it does feel like a hard struggle esp when at 2 in the morning she doesnt want to sleep and i have work the next day! but the good outweighs the "not so good" i wont say bad cause there really isnt any bad in this context!
Some day i shall write about what kind of father my dad was too me, someday.
for now all i can say is HAPPY FATHERS DAY.
The pic i have loaded on this page should actually have been for mothers day but me being me i didnt take any pictures of fathers lol .

BIRTHDAY NUMBER 8

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MEGAN!

It seems that someone allowed megan to grow without my knowledge! i am very displeased! in a blink of an eye she is now 8yrs old!
We had a nice birthday celebration at my mums place and as always food galore! we ate like there was no tom! and instead of cake we had ICE CREAM!!! with 8 tiny candles !
It was also Caitlins first birthday party and she had a wild time!(fast asleep)
:)

"Weeping May Endure for a Night, but Joy Cometh in the Morning."

When i first started this blog almost 1 year ago, i did not think it would survive. As i said in my first post i have never been one for the "diary" entries but as time moves on all things change.
Change, that seems to have been a big part of what has happened over the past year. With a tough first couple of weeks of being pregnant when both TLOML and i thought that we would lose our baby to a tough delivery with an emergecny C sect, we have run the full range of emotions from Happiness, Fear, and finally JOY.
Over the past week TLOML lost a major part of her life, her grandmother Nano as she was known by all. At 80 Nano had alot to be proud of having raised 3 fine children who went on to raise their own fine children some of whom are rasing children of their own! Wealth, glory, power all these things are well and good but what Nano had could not be bought it was a family who loved her, who love each other. On her deathbed Nano was surrounded by the one thing she deserved the most, love.
Tales will be told for many years about this grand lady, a woman who could truly use the words "my way". An impossible amount of strength of will and fortitude she was also a fount of infomation and wit. Nano was everyready with a good story and always ready with a quick comeback. I shall miss her phone calls which always seem to start with "what exactly is everyone doing?' and somehow connect to food, she would always ask how pepper was having met the dog only once! Her concern for details legendary as was her use of the english language, once we were playing charades(this is my fav nano moment) and someone was acting out a movie tital or something and out of the blue the nano shouted "BARRAGE" fits of laughter i tell ya i had fits of laughter. She survived a war, being widowed early, illness and many other trials and tribulations that would have broken most people but with her spine of steel Nan survived it all. It is a bittersweet moment, when i know we should be happy that she is at peace but ........scripture says "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning " I do not know about the "a nigth part" but i do belive that joy does come in the morning if it didnt life would not be bearable. So here is a tip of the hat and a gentle bow to a grand dame.

Day 15

Its been rough at work lately and this morning is no different. Sigh what i wouldnt give to just be able to tell these people off but such is life. On the plus side Caitlin is doing well and TLOML is getting better everyday. Caitlin is already 15days old and tough it has been trying esp since we are still trying to find a rythm. It has actually been a joy overall. Pepper is in assistant mother mode and looks like she wants to give "a paw" at feeding the baby. anyway just thought i would post some pics ...

Battle of the Milk

So the weekend has come and gone and last night was the first night that Tloml, Pepper, Caitlin and i spent alone without the moo as backup. We were both nervous but it went well and it will get better as we learn more. (pics will be posted tonight)

feeding time 0200hrs
While sitting there in the semi darkness, holding the baby in one hand and the bottle with the other i came to a conclusion. Feeding time is not about fun and games its about fighting a battle, what as a parent i want is to get the most amount of milk down Caitlins gullet in the shortest possible time, she on the other hand has her own ideas about the whole process. In my arsenal i have many weapons including delaying the feeding till she goes WAH WAH, or the rotating of the bottle so that she doesnt fall asleep, or tugging it in and out of her mouth so she remains interested and if that fails and she does fall asleep i can always try tapping the bottle with my finger nail and that normally works . The nuclear option is burping, clears her belly for more milk. Caitlin like all females feels the need to thwart her fathers good intentions, her weapons are, sticking her tongue to the roof of her mouth so the nipple goes under it, closing her mouthing tightly so you cant get in, shoving the nipple out with her tongue, falling asleep, pretending to be asleep, and my favourite smiling and allowing lots of milk to drip out the side of her mouth. There can be only one winner in this battle of milk and that is her, she will feed when she is hungry and sleep when she is tired. And that my friends is lesson number 1.

Hold On Daddy

Doesnt it just say it all.

HOME!

Today was the day of TLOMLs return home and it was the first time that Caitlyn(yup this might be the spelling) has come home. She has only known two place the womb and the hospital and now she needs to get used to our humble abode. Pepper was excited to see her mummy as well as her younger sister. we spent our time trying to figure out the milk balance..the wrapping of the baby and all other things associated to the baby.

Day Two

Feet that have never touched the ground
Today was a good day for both mother and child, TLOML managed to walk around with less pain then yesterday and i hope it gets better tom. Caitlin was as snug a bug though from what i understand while i was at work she was a little handfull. Tom they will both be home and all will be well! So exciting its the start of a whole new life for one and the beginning of the next phase for the two of us.

Our Baby.

Tuesday 23rd May 2006, and our little bundle of joy was born.
After a long and sometimes stressfull day the very brave love of my life delivered a bouncing baby girl. We have named here Caitlin. Mother and child are doing well. As for the father, words cant express my emotions. Many thanks to the many supporters, esp those who prayed for us.