Bits and Bobs

amistades fin, en el silencio de la indiferencia

disingenuous-lacking in frankness, candor, or sincerity; falsely or hypocritically ingenuous; insincere.

friendship-the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.

a friendly relation or intimacy.

friendly feeling or disposition.

I had this friend once, well for my part this person was a friend but it seemed this person had an opinion or made judgements about me that were entirely negative. It seems that after years of having a friendship, this friend felt that they were just the object of merriment and the subject of attack. Everything from my sense of humor which this person enjoyed for many years to my judgment on what was right or wrong it seemed was negative. Yet time after time this person continued to exude the pretense of friendship while all the time harbouring hate and that is not too strong a word. Only when needed was i nice to this person, yes that's the line that sticks with me the most. Was i hurt, upset, shocked, angry, disappointed? i don't know, maybe all of the above. It made me question the very basis of what i thought was a solid friendship. Maybe this person was right? yes that is a very real possibility isn't so? the friendship obviously was not worth saving from their perspective. My wife asked me if i missed this person, and the saddest part for me was the realisation that no not really, i missed parts of it the camaraderie the shared life experiences but what else was there?
If i was all those things i was still not disingenuous. I harboured not hatred or ill intent, i held back nothing.
This one paragraph does not do justice to the whole episode, and maybe paints either one of us in a bad light but it does lead me to my point.

amistades fin, en el silencio de la indiferencia- roughly translates to friendships die amid the silence of indifference.

but friendships also die when one is disingenious.

Does it end just so? like an overly dramatic movie where the hero dies not to make a point but just because he can, no i dont think so but is it easy no its not. There must be a desire for things to grow, a sense of purpose and a willingness to bend.

There are things that are said in friendships and things that are sometimes left unsaid and the choices we make between the two can be the difference between a lifelong bond and a isnt that so and so yeah i think so i used to know him once." moment.

It just should not be.

Rude People, Crowded Trains, People stopping at the tops or bottoms of escalators, people shouting into their handphones in a lift. Haze, smog, dirty beaches, traffice jams, crowded streets, queues at the bank, at the supermarket, at the coffee shop, at the bus stop. Ugly buildings, ugly people (by behaviour) drivers that dont signal, road hoggers, speed demons. Gst, Erp, COE. feet on the seat at the cinema, on the bus in a restaruant. Studying at fast food joints, motorcycles in the park, cost of travel, cost of living, cost of dying. Late nights at work, early mornings at work, work. Bosses who dont know, staff who dont care, customers. Children getting sick, bullied, abused. People who dont think for themselves, people who tell you what to think, who think of nothing but themselves. Rats, mosquitos, cockroaches. Child abuse, animal abuse,drug abuse, alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, abuse

19 things

19 things you may not know about me.

1)i am sentimental about the past. not always FOR the past though. i reckon if you cant tell the difference between the two you should really be reading another blog.

2) I can generally see my way to having a laugh even in the most trying of circumstances. That's my trick, and like some kind of one trick pony i am often trotted out to perform the wonderful trick of always being happy. But of course that's not true is it, i am not always happy, i mean no one really is. I fake it alot, just so that everyone else does not feel uncomfortable with my unhappiness. That is another skill, i can perk up and be happy on demand. Once again as if i was some kind of one trick pony. The people closest to me, i mean really closest to me and if your reading this and thinking yes he is talking about me? your wrong . Aside from maybe 2? of my friends my wife is the only one who ever really knows when i am as it were really unhappy, and she has over the years learnt that the best thing to do when i am in an unhappy state is to leave me alone.

3) When the chips are down, as much as some people don't like to admit it. I am the one they call.

4) I rebound very quickly. I call it the bounce(make your jokes ha ha very funny). Today i may be deep in the abyss of despair, but tomorrow is another day and my wonderful optimistic self will climb out again.

5)I am OK with mistakes, accidents trips slips and falls. I am OK with people being stupid. BUT acting stupid or trying to bullshit that you know something when you don't? especially when you act like you know it all. I don't feel gleeful when your caught up in your stupidity i feel angry that you waste my time with all of it. It doesn't mean that i am smart, far from it. I am an uneducated buffoon but at least...(if you need help at this point understanding what i am saying please move along.) I am even OK with ANYONE saying they don't know. i say that at least a hundred times a day, but don't bullshit me. Oh yes, and you the fool who thinks being the strong silent type means no one will see through your dumb ass, forget it. we know your dumb.

6)I am not known for my patience. If however you knew me 10yrs ago and could compare the 2 Edwards you would find i have become as patient as i am ever going to be.

7)i hate being late. simply because its rude. I try my best not to be late and when i am going to be late i always let the people waiting know, and i always apologise. Lately however i don't give a damn. i have been waiting for the same people for years and their lack of respect really stands out.

8) I like red, grey and pretty much any colour under the sun.

9)i am not much of a drinker though if i wanted to i could. I don't need alcohol to have a good time, and if i am not having a good time its probably your fault. I mean for god sake i have been known to enjoy funerals.

10)I love to read.

11) While i am mainly an optimist, i am starting to see the world as a realist.

12)I am often surprised when people are surprised by the behaviour of other people especially when its a pattern of behaviour they have exhibited before. YET even more surprising, i am often surprised myself that i too am surprised when people exhibit behavior they have shown before. Especially when that behavior is negative.

13) I think love is all powerful.

14) I am not cool. i simply am me. my rationale for not attempting to be cool is simply. There is no cool in hell.

15) I am bad at spelling. I blame the predictive text and often it is the machines fault but i am naturally bad at spelling. I suck at writing, and reading out loud. In fact when i read out loud i sound as if i have just started learning how to read from a book written in braille and my fingers are encased in gloves of cement.

16)i don't proof read what i have written and even if i did i would speed through it and miss out all the mistakes.

17) I know fashion. Yes a shocker! not for myself of course but for other people. I surf tons of sites simply because what they do is art. To me its art.

18)I love art, but i am unable to define it, like my taste for art is like my taste for music. They are both wide, varied and sometimes eclectic . Some might say bizarre.

19) I am proud of my family and my life.

Oink

Moo.

Oh give it up.

so i lied.

Things not to say.....ever.

ok last 2 i promise.

Father to Daughter.

Famous Last Words

i said stop me right!

SOMEONE STOP ME!

Signs from Life

Messages you wish life gave you earlier.

Really very uninspired today, all i felt was that i liked the look of these two colours

The nonsense post

Just testing out this new app called blogaway.picture done on an app called magic marker.

And I am using my galaxy tab to post.I am well pleased.

PYBB

Within it all, a myriad of colours mix and mingle yet always retaining the essence of themselves. That is life.

Ode To Piet.

Eat the meat.

Today we had our annual bbq but this time we did something different. With most of us working now we could afford some good meat. So everyone bought their favourite cut of beef or pork, seasoned it themselves and cooked it at my place. We also limited the side dishes so it was mainly meat on show.

This cow died for a good cause. I am not much of a beef eater but this was perfect, the knife cut through the beef like it was cutting through butter. We cooked it to an excellent medium(with the ends well done for me) and it was as they say "goood" This almost 1kg hunk of beef was shared by 3 of us. i give it 5 stars.

Above- Raju's Pork Chop it was the biggest i have seen.

Above Marks kurobuta pork neck.

Below- 300grams (or so) of prime 200 day grain fed aged beef. (or as we call it Russel's delight)

Above Aud's perfectly cooked grain fed beef.

The Rabbit. i dont think i did this bunny justice, next time its going in a stew.

My Daughter. The Indonesian Princess

I am pretty much proud beyond the norm of my kids, but today Caitlin as always blew me out of the water with her dance at her school's annual concert. She was by far the best there! Watching the older kids graduate, i realised that when it is Caitlins turn to walk up on stage and get her little certificate i cant be there..cause i will be weeping,

eden.

I call this ""eden""

lycz

I didnt adjust the alingment issues but i did put everything in a yellow box..it sort of works fr me..

my theme for next year

only i can bugger up alignment so badly.

Effect Change.

Trying some stuff out, lots to do to get it right but i reckon its ok for a first draft, got to add in more pics, adjust the timing which is way of but well you get the idea.
by the way i started this at 4am this mornign and finished it at around 6..lol

you gotta eat something, right?

We had a lovely light lunch today. :) Caitlin had a roasted fish (red snapper) in a marmalade sauce with asparaGOOSE (as we say it here), mash potato's and a nice runny egg (it was for me but she pinched it) She was dipping the wholemeal bread we baked yesterday into the yolk and gobbling it down. Thats my daughter! Tloml and i had a mixed grill... for want of a better description. The flank steak was a little tough but that was because i didnt slow cook it for 6 hours. By the way if the steak looks small it isnt, the asparagoose are huge! biggest i have ever seen. Oh and if your wondering where bella was during this lunch, she was circling the table with arms in the air like a chubby vulture looking for table scraps.

Alas the loaf i baked yesterday was a little on the dark side on the outside, the inside was lovely though. Mind you it was my first time baking a loaf in the oven not the bread maker and from scratch i have to say none of those instant flour mixes for me!, so all in all i am rather pleased. (Caitlin was helping me make the bread and she dubbed our kitchen, Edward and Rose's Bakery)

random pics

My box, sitting between my keyboard and the monitor is my box, as you can see i keep all sorts of junk in it, markers, paint brushes, painting kinves, pencils, lighters, cf cards and a host of other little things i use on a daily or weekly basis. Below, my box of plastercine..i always have plastercine...

Bake us the bread!

I have always wanted to bake my own bread, for years i quietly had this little dream . I have always found it intimidating , lots of time to let the bread rise and stuff. The other day i went for a bbq and had the most amazing bread baked by Tlomys cousin and she inspired me to try. 1 big difference though i pinched my Sisters breadmaking machine for my first loaf. Things were going well until something tripped the power in my house and the machine shut off, forcing me to move the loaf to our oven. It turned out pretty well in the end, crusty (very crusty) and full flavoured all in all a good tasting rye loaf. NEXT i will try without the machine and see how that goes!

Pet Rock.

1982.

Swirls and Flowers