As Christmas comes closer, I have started to think about the traditions that have become part and parcel of of my life. ALL THINGS CHANGE. I don't like it but they do, when I was a kid Christmas was a whirlwind of peoples houses, playing and parties. Laughter, dancing, drinking all common place in my house. When my siblings got married and started to leave Singapore things changed I guess as they had to. My folks stopped going for mid night mass, people got older the parties more sedate. When my father died it seemed most of the traditions went with him, so we started our own.
(for years I would meet Iggy for dinner on Christmas eve but alas that too has changed) Midnight in Church with friends who come back to my home for something warm to eat and something cold to drink. I have a friend who I see only on Christmas Eve after mass at my house, this year he wont be there and he took the effort to tell me and i have to say it surprised me how it affected me.
On the family front it was brunch at my sisters place and even when my bil left us we carried on with that. This year will be different my nephew and mum will be with my Australian family so brunch will be in my house. At first i was annoyed, you know its tradition we have to go there and we have to eat the special omelet and the bacon and stuff, then it dawned on me what I really didn't like was having my nephew and mum away for Christmas and as it turns out that's not traditional that's LIFE.
These events, they stand like markers through our lives. Christmas, Birthdays and everything else but we begin to tie ourselves so tightly to the traditions that the reason for having these markers is quickly forgotten. While we may not be religious and tend to forget the reason for Christmas, lets not forget the reason for us gathering together. Its so that family and friends can BE together to BE with each other, it matters not if I don't have lights on the tree or my open house is in Jan instead of Dec, what matters is that we are open to the idea that there will be change and it doesn't matter as long as we are together. This year I who am tied to more traditions than most have decided that the my New Years resolution shall be, Cut the strings of traditions and just enjoy each other. (at least i will try)
4 comments:
A good post honey...I completely agree with you. Its about doing what makes you happy. Life, times and people will change and if you cling to the past and have too many "traditions", you will not be able to accept it when someone wants to try something new or do something new and in the end, you will be the only one that is unhappy. Or worse, you become a hypocrite and judge others when they want a change despite the fact that you have probably made changes too.
Mish
em said..... fantastic post edward.
I am proud or should I say we (my brothers and sister) that we have kept to certain traditions in OUR family even after the deaths of our parents (23 yrs and 12 yrs ago). We have kept them and their traditions close to our hearts particularly during X'mas. This is our only connection to them and how we were brought up. To change it now is difficult, maybe the next generation can.
Yes Em, i agree with you, i would have loved to kept the many things we did as a family going but alas my family is now located all around the world, and aside from attaching myself gleefully to mischa's side of the family i reckon we have started some of our own like putting up deco in the house as a family or listening to dean martin together and this year with Caitlin being so big its doubly fun especially since she helped with the tree! She was very excited!
Its ok honey...we can start our own traditions with our little family as well. It's all about Caitlin enjoying Christmas now for me! Hopefully BIL will be proud of our Christmas Day Brunch which we are trying for the first time!
I miss going to Nan's house on Christmas Day and Cliff and Jas, Roger, Glen, Fi and the kids all being together for sure and Nan smoking in the kitchen! It was always a fun afternoon.
Either way, I still love Christmas! Just do what makes you happy...
Your wife
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